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Decisions, Decisions,…

When faced with a dilemma, of a kind that is deeper and more challenging than a “latte or a cappuccino,” how do you decide?

“You do not need to leave your room. Remain sitting at your table and listen. Do not even listen, simply wait, be quiet, still and solitary. The world will freely offer itself to you to be unmasked, it has no choice, it will roll in ecstasy at your feet.” – Franz Kafka

Years ago, I realized that the “walking towards the talk” principle has to apply to all areas of my life, and not only what I do for work. As a result, I did quite a few changes, big and small. Got an indoor compost, started a roof-top little garden of edible things, replaced a car to one that can run on biodiesel, and shifted quite a bit of my buying habits. Then, approached the area of my finances, and consolidated everything into one local credit union, Vancity. They have a strong social and environmental mission, they do a lot of good work in the community, and I’d rather my money work for them than anyone else.

Over the years, they have been good for me, for the most part. It seems that their mortgage department, though, does not really understand the business model under which I operate – a self employed and incorporated person. I managed to work with, and around it, until about now. As I am looking at shifting and adjusting and simplifying this part of my life, they are behind in offering me something that was offered by someone else, after a 2-minute conversation over the phone. And the person doesn’t even know me or my business.

Now what? Do I stick to them and my values, or go where I can benefit more?

“Reason and emotion are not antagonists. What seems like a struggle is a struggle between two opposing ideas or values, one of which, automatic and unconscious, manifests itself in the form of a feeling.” – Nathaniel Brandon

Ultimately, when examining the deeper values and choice, the key is to look at ways I can remain true to myself. There are reasons behind every emotion, and emotions behind the reasons. I think that a cappuccino will help me in this choice, as I go back and realign myself to the theme of “living divided no more.” Or a latte?

Published in learning life meaning presence