The work of the Right Livelihood Quest has been growing and evolving over the past two years in beautiful, magical, and inspiring ways. Conducting these deep inquiry processes has been a rich-in-learning experience for me, not only in witnessing what the participants uncover about their life and purpose, but also what opens up for me with every group I go through the process with. In such a deep, intimate, and authentic inquiry, there is no way to not be impacted or see myself through the mirror each of the participants puts up for me.
Two years later, and I still shake my head every so often when I think about how this venture keeps unfolding. Magic is at play. Universe is on my side. The flow takes care of almost all the details. Though, at times, my very non-magical wishes, desires, and attachments wake up and lift their heads too. Like these days.
Welcome to Esalen, which is an incredible retreat center in Big Sur, California. From what I have heard about it, it lives to its description of being a “world-wide network of seekers who look beyond dogma to explore deeper spiritual possibilities, forge new understandings of self and society, and pioneer new paths for change.”
Last year, I had a conversation with someone and the work of Right Livelihood Quest came up. That someone connected me with another someone, and before I knew it, I was scheduled to conduct the Quest at Esalen, this coming September. Yes, in about 5 weeks. There was a period of excitement (and, I have to admit, a boosted ego too), while knowing that it will all shift once the day gets closer.
Well, it shifted, and over the past few weeks I found myself being quite anxious. Even more so, up until a few days ago I still doubted that it would even happen, because the registration was lower than what I was hoping it would be. Conducting the Quest at Esalen felt like advancing a level, evolving, and bringing this work into a much higher level of exposure and visibility than anything I have done with it so far. Does it mean that I am not ready? That the work of the Quest is not? That I should stay at the “amateur league?” Was it all just a big ego-trip?
“Yes, it is important to see the world as full of possibilities – to shift our world view from one of resignation to one of possibility. But if we are to participate in the unfolding process of the universe, we must let life flow through us, rather than attempt to control life.” – anonymous
I keep thinking about how hard it can be, wanting something to happen, yet knowing that there is so much beyond my control. That there is a lot more at play than my personal wishes and desires. That there is a reason for the way things happen. That I can only do so much, and then it is out of my hands. Something else, infinitely bigger, is at the control, and I’d better learn – yet again – to trust it and get out of the way.
Oh, and yes, it is happening.